In the Red Corner
My mate Kelly McCann claims there’s no difference between men vs women’s self-defense. He says it is all just self-defense. He also believes that older and frail women don’t stand a chance in a fight anyway.
I, on the other hand, am a huge believer in self-defense for women. I also think there is a difference between men’s and women’s self-defense. Finally, I absolutely believe older and/or slight females can prevail in self-defense.
Difference Of Opinion
Before I delve into why I believe what I do let me just state you’ll notice that Kelly and I can disagree about something and not get into name-calling, burning down each other’s schools, or getting into internet wars with mouth breathing, fanboys hollering from the bleachers. We both know that if two people agree on something 100% then one of those people isn’t necessary. It’s called maturity. I wish millennials and Karens would learn some. The world would be a nicer place. And, for the record, I’ve changed my mind about things after hearing Kelly’s point of view and he’s done the same with me.
The Attacks Are Different
The attacks are different. Outside of prison and the homeless men are rarely attacked and sexually assaulted. In a career spanning forty-plus years of dealing with non-consensual violence, I’m unaware of any guys being beaten up and raped.
Women on the other hand have to face that liability in the majority of instances when they have to fight off a male attacker.
I’ve trained a lot of law enforcement, worked with women’s shelters and human trafficking orgs. Women are grabbed and dragged a lot. Usually, it’s by the hair or the arm/wrist. Empirical evidence would suggest that most men don’t get grabbed by those. Their hair doesn’t mostly because the style nowadays is too short to be grabbed. Their body or their head gets wrapped up in chokes, guillotines, and the ubiquitous headlock.
The Ground Attack Is Different Between Men & Women
The ground is different for both. A woman is going to be pinned or held down, her clothing torn from her, and her mouth covered or neck grabbed to stop her screaming. The attacker will be between her legs and then she’ll be raped. Her male counterpart will have someone sit on his belly or chest and the pummeling will begin. What the MMA crowd calls ground and pound. Alternatively, he’ll have a mob around him taking turns putting the boots in.
Social Violence Vs Asocial Violence
Social violence is a necessary part of growing up and living in a tribe. Two males, vying for a spot in the hierarchy, will fight to determine where they fit in the pecking order. Social violence has rules. There must be witnesses to begin with. Nobody will get seriously hurt as either one of the combatants will quit, or the crowd will break it up before it reaches that point.
Now think about a man fighting a woman? When does that ever happen in a social violence context? I’d submit anytime a man is beating on a woman it’s asocial violence. There are normally no witnesses, it has zip to do with the reshuffling of the pecking order and will result in serious injury or death.
The Weapons Are Different In Men Vs Women’s Self Defense
The weapons are different in men vs women’s self-defense. If I shove my finger in someone’s eye and blind him or permanently impair his vision, I’d better have a great reason. I.e. I need to be outnumbered ten to one, at war, or in a home invasion against a mob. A woman would have a much better chance at getting away with this in court due to something called “disparity of force.” This is not legal advice but, what “disparity of force” means, in this case, is, if there is a risk of serious bodily injury or death the defender is entitled to use deadly force in response.
So, if you were outnumbered that larger group has the potential to kill or seriously injure you. If you were in a wheelchair and your attacker was not, he may have the potential to seriously injure or kill you due to your physical impairment. Of course, if you are a smaller or older woman going up against a healthy adult male, the argument could be made he has the potential to kill or seriously injure you. Her eye strike then would be justifiable, mine would not.
Eye Strikes
I, therefore, spend a lot more time on eye strikes with female students than I would with my male students. It also gives them a bit more reach, and, as we’ve seen in the MMA and this clip they can shut someone down in a split second. A 120-pound female trying to fight off a 200lb male with punches would have her work cut out for her. While a male strategy might be to stand toe to toe and trade shots a women’s should be to use her wiles to get close enough, launch an attack and then break contact and get away.
Smaller units should never try to engage larger ones without superior movement skills.
Proof Of My Claim
Lastly. Can they? A week or so before the time of writing this I heard the story of the 75-year-old Asian lady attacked in San Francisco by a bigger 39-year-old man. He was taken away on a stretcher. She was standing there with an ice pack to her face watching him leave. If the crowd hadn’t stopped her she would have beaten him more.
Willie Murphy, an 82-year-old bodybuilder had a guy break into her house on Nov 24th, 2019. She slammed him with a table and then beat the shit out of him with a broom until cops turned up. He also was taken to the hospital on a stretcher.
67-year-old Lorenza Morejo had 26 years of martial arts training when a young man tried to attack her, and her friend, in their senior citizen living center. Lorenza stood between her friend who’d been knocked to the ground, grabbed a baseball bat, and took the guy to the floor. She pinned him by his throat with the bat until the cops showed up and took him away.
I found those 3 and more in a quick search on Google.
To Recap
So, to recap. I’d submit there is a vast difference between men’s and women’s self-defense.
The Attacks: Different
The Weapons: Different
The Ground: Different
Social Vs Asocial: Different
Can They? Go read Willie Murphy’s and Lorenza’s stories again.
PS: Kelly is smart and I’m right. So, one day Kelly will realize I’m right.
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