Protect Your Mind & Set Boundaries

Scenario 1: The Unwanted Touch in a Social Setting

Situation:
Claire is at a work event, chatting with colleagues when a male co-worker she barely knows places his hand on her lower back as he leans in to talk. She instantly feels uncomfortable but doesn’t want to create a scene.

Without Boundaries:

• Claire laughs awkwardly and moves slightly away, but he follows, continuing to invade her space.

• She feels trapped but doesn’t say anything because she worries about seeming rude.

With Boundaries:

• Claire immediately steps back, removes his hand, and says in a firm but polite tone, “I’m not comfortable with that. Please respect my personal space.”

If he continues or tries to brush it off by saying, “Relax, it’s just friendly,” Claire reinforces her boundary:

• “I understand, but I don’t like being touched without my permission.”

• If needed, she walks away or involves someone else if the behaviour persists.

  

Scenario 2: A Stranger Standing Too Close in a Queue

Situation:
You’re at a coffee shop, and someone stands uncomfortably close behind you, almost touching you.

What to Say:

• “Excuse me, could you give me a little more space please?”

• If they ignore you, step forward or reposition yourself to create distance.

  

Scenario 3: A Friend Who Always Hugs You (When You Don’t Like It)

Situation:
A friend greets you with a hug, even though you’re not comfortable with it.

What to Say:

• “I’m not a hugger, but it’s great to see you.”

• If they continue, block the hug with a handshake or wave instead.

  

Scenario 4: A Colleague Who Constantly Touches Your Arm During Conversations

Situation:
During meetings, a co-worker frequently touches your arm while talking.

What to Say:

• “I prefer not to be touched during conversations, thanks for understanding.”

• If they continue, move your arm away and reinforce the boundary.

 

Key Strategies for Enforcing Personal Space Boundaries

• Use Clear, Direct Language: Be firm but polite—physical contact should always be a choice, not an obligation.

• Step Back or Reposition Yourself: Physically moving away sends a clear message.

• Use Non-Verbal Cues: Blocking a touch with a hand or stepping aside can reinforce boundaries without words.

• Be Prepared for Pushback: If someone says, “I was just being friendly,” respond with, “I get that, but I’m not comfortable with it.”

• Prioritise Your Comfort Over Their Feelings: If someone is offended by your boundary, that is their problem, not yours.

If a person continues to ignore your boundaries, escalate your response by firmly stating, “I have asked you not to do that. I need you to respect my space.” If necessary, remove yourself from the situation.

Your personal space and comfort are important, and you have the right to set limits that make you feel safe and respected.

 

4) Communication Boundaries: Controlling How Others Speak to You

The way people speak to you affects your emotional well-being. If someone frequently disrespects, criticizes, interrupts, or pressures you into uncomfortable conversations, it’s essential to set clear communication boundaries.

 

You have the right to protect yourself from harmful, aggressive, or manipulative language.

 

Scenario 1: A Colleague Who Interrupts You Constantly

Situation:
You’re in a meeting, and a colleague keeps cutting you off mid-sentence, making it difficult for you to express your thoughts.

Without Boundaries:

With Boundaries:

• “I wasn’t finished speaking. I’d like to complete my point before moving on.”

• “I’d appreciate it if you could let me finish my thought before jumping in.”

• If they continue to interrupt, stay firm:

  “Please let me finish speaking. I will do the same for you.”

 

Scenario 2: A Family Member Who Criticizes You Constantly

Situation:
Your parent or relative frequently makes negative comments about your life choices, career, or appearance.

Without Boundaries:

With Boundaries:

• “I understand you have your opinion, but I’d prefer not to be criticized about this.”

• “I make choices that work for me, and I don’t need approval from anyone.”

• “I’m not asking for advice on this topic, so let’s move on.”

• If they continue:

  “I won’t continue this conversation if it’s going to be critical or negative.”

 

Scenario 3: A Boss or Colleague Who Yells at You

Situation:
Your manager or a co-worker raises their voice at you in a professional setting.

Without Boundaries:

With Boundaries:

• “I won’t engage in a conversation where I’m being yelled at.”

• “I’ll be happy to discuss this when we can talk calmly.”

• “I understand this is important, but I need you to speak to me respectfully.”

• If they continue to yell, walk away or suggest a later discussion:

  “I’ll come back when we can have a constructive conversation.”

 

Scenario 4: A Partner Who Gives You the Silent Treatment

Situation:
Your partner gets upset and refuses to communicate, giving you the silent treatment for hours or days instead of addressing the issue directly.

Without Boundaries:

• You feel anxious, walk on eggshells, or try to “fix” the situation, even though they are the one shutting down communication.

With Boundaries:

• “If something is bothering you, I’d rather talk about it openly than have silence between us.”

• “I won’t chase you for communication, but I’m here to talk when you’re ready.”

• “If we can’t address issues together, we need to discuss how to communicate better.”

If silent treatment is being used as manipulation, you may need to re-evaluate the relationship.

 

Scenario 5: A Person Who Uses Sarcasm or Backhanded Compliments

Situation:
A friend constantly makes sarcastic remarks that come across as insulting.

Without Boundaries:

With Boundaries:

• “If you’re joking, I don’t find it funny. Let’s keep it respectful.”

• “I prefer direct communication over sarcasm. Could you say what you mean?”

• “That comment wasn’t helpful. If you have feedback, I’d rather hear it respectfully.”

• If they try to dismiss your feelings:

  “I understand that you see it as a joke, but I’d appreciate it if you didn’t say things like that to me.”

  

Overcoming the Fear of Setting Boundaries

Many people struggle with setting boundaries because they fear:

 

Reality Check:

• Boundaries are not about controlling others—they are about protecting yourself.

• People who respect you will respect your boundaries.

• If someone reacts negatively to a boundary, it’s a sign that they were benefiting from you having none.

 

How to Enforce Boundaries (Without Feeling Guilty)

Step 1: Be Clear & Direct

Example: Instead of vaguely saying “I don’t like that,” say “Please don’t joke about that—it makes me uncomfortable.”

 

Step 2: Stick to Your Boundaries

If someone pushes back, repeat your boundary without explaining yourself.

 

Step 3: Follow Through with Consequences

Example: If someone keeps overstepping, limit contact or take action.

 

Step 4: Practice Self-Affirmation

Remind yourself: “It’s okay to put myself first.”

 

Remember: Boundaries Are Self-Respect in Action

• Setting boundaries is not mean—it’s necessary

• You don’t have to justify or explain your boundaries

• People who value you will respect your limits.

 

ACTION STEP: Write down one boundary you need to enforce this week. Then, practice saying it out loud so you’re prepared when the situation arises.